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[ In the silence that follows, Trahearne keeps his eyes on her, a mild expression on his face. He knows she understands what he means--that cats can sense genuinely kind people right away, regardless of how shy they initially are. They rarely give the truly vile the time of day.

And he is, in fact, just talking about cats. And if Seisyll (his "daughter") is happy to eat from the palm of her hand and accept scratches to her chin, then that's all he needs to know.

But her metaphor is not lost on him. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, his gaze dropping to watch his animal companion stretch, her eyes snapping open, making an attempt to climb up towards Beatrix's face. ]

I suppose there are.

[ He knows his life experiences may inform his present choices, but who he was then means little now. He's come to apply that thinking to everyone else he meets.

But he also knows his place. ]

Beatrix, I hope that, in times of distress, you have someone to talk to. It doesn't have to be me--it would be impudent of me to assume you would come to me, but know there are people here who care for you and would be more than happy to help you.

[ They wouldn't want a noctrix on their hands. ]

[His words linger with her. Resonate in their own way. She’s been hearing them a lot. Eustace. Oriphi. The others. It seems like that’s all any of them have ever wanted for her. To have an outlet. Perhaps it has become quite obvious that Beatrix holds onto everything. Tries to carry everything herself. Tries to portray herself as invincible and untouchable, though she’s as fallible as anyone else. She’s not immune to any of it, much to her chagrin.

For a moment, she’s almost expecting him to join the list of people who might prod her about Dohalim, but it occurs to her that he too was down whilst anything she might have said would have given her away. The only reason Oriphi found out was because she refused to allow Beatrix to spend that fated night following Eustace’s misadventure alone.]

I…

[Beatrix scoffs a little, lifting a hand to haughtily flick her hair back. It’s one of her tells. An indication that she’s embarrassed to have such a conversation and she doesn’t take to humiliation well.]

It seems a good lot of you are quite concerned about me.

[She finally responds gently, offering Seisyll one more pet for good measure before she rises to her full stature. Turning her attention onto Trahearne, she regards him with care and consideration.]

I ought to make certain such feelings occur minimally.

[That’s not at all what he’s trying to say and she knows it.]

[ Trahearne, in fact, knows absolutely nothing about her relationship with Dohalim. Isn't she lucky?

He watches her, sensing she might not be very happy with the conversation, but he still thinks it's worth saying out loud. Regardless, he won't keep prodding the topic for any longer than he needs to. ]

It's only natural we worry for the people we care about.

[ When he says that, he can't help but smile wryly to himself. He certainly spends a lot of his time worrying about things. He cares, yes--or does it come from a place of obligation and duty? Even after all this time, he still hasn't figured that out yet.

He observes her as she stands. Seisyll, with her target (Beatrix's face) now out of reach, begins to weave between her legs.

With a nod, and a small, satisfied smile, he turns back to the groceries. ] You know what's best for you. [ As a colleague, ally, and equal, he won't fuss over Beatrix like he does the younger cohort. With the bag empty, he begins folding it to put it away. ] But if you ever need me, you know where to find me.

Yes. I suppose there is truth in that.

[She casts a look down to Seisyll, making a note to move very carefully that she not dislodge the cat overmuch. She can easily picture just toppling right over herself in an ungraceful flailing of limbs. Fortunately, that hasn’t happened just yet.

Looking over to him, she’s going through the second bag of items and finishing unpacking it for him.]

I appreciate it, Trahearne. I doubt I need to say it, but I reflect the same to you. I think all of us have our moments where we think we need to handle everything on our own. Some of us may be more acquainted with that feeling than others. It does not mean the approach is any different. We all want to assist and support those close to us.

[...She is no different in that respect either.]

[ As Beatrix starts to move, Seisyll gets the hint and darts away again, finding a nice spot under the table to curl up.

In the meanwhile, Trahearne starts sorting the fruits and placing them in various cupboards, different receptacles. Every so often as she speaks does he throw a glance her way, trying to gauge how much of what she's tell him is her scolding him, or her simply reminding him. The argument with Ori over this very topic is fresh in his mind, and the sores from that still tender.

"All of us have our moments where we think we need to handle everything on our own." That's been true for him for his entire life. It wasn't a matter of thinking he had to handle everything on his own, it was a matter of knowing he had no choice but to. And his efforts to unlearn this have been unsuccessful so far. ]

I know. [ He says this quietly, a way to protect himself. With the last fruits put in their place, he carefully tucks the folded bag into a nearby drawer. ] But it's good to hear it again, and I admittedly need the reminder.

[ He leans against the counter and eases the tension in his shoulders; a stinging in his chest tells him that he probably should have let Beatrix do the putting things away herself. And hypocritically, he says nothing. ]

Thank you, Beatrix.

[Maybe what she says is more for her than it is for him. They are often things that have been spoken unto her. They are often things she needs to keep in consideration. Lessons she still needs to learn, though thinks about often enough.

When he weighs in, she decides not to push any further. Of course he knows. They’ve all probably said it to one another, shared it here and there as necessary. Drawing quiet for some moments until she’s finished unpacking, she folds up the bag neatly, leaving it on his counter.

His gratitude is unnecessary. She never says anything for that sort of thing. She only says what she thinks needs to be said. In the end, maybe he’s just thanking her again for getting him food.]

Sometimes I need the reminder as well.

[Looking over to him, she forces a smile, though it’s subdued and difficult to hold.]

I think between all of us we will have plenty more of those to come in the future.

[ Trahearne returns the smile, but it comes easier to him. He's genuinely thankful Beatrix has come to help him, that she reached out to him when she did. He's also genuinely thankful to have people like her as his friends--his allies. Though most of them are stoic, all of them care. And it's hard to deal with that sometimes.

Uncharacteristically, he crosses his arms over his chest, mostly to keep him from overexerting his arms and by extension, his chest. It will heal with time; he just has to wait. ]

I think all of us present at the incident have formed a unique bond among us. We all went through the pain, and each of us are uniquely equipped to help one another. [ He chuckles a bit, confirming what she said. ] We most certainly will not be lacking in reminders among all of us.

A… unique bond.

[Yes. Perhaps he’s right on that one. It’s true that ever since that night, when she thinks of the others, wonders how they’re doing, even if it’s something mundane, she feels a touch different. It’s not quite the same as her relationship with Dohalim or even that of Kisara. It is distinctly different.]

I did not think of it in such a way, but it is not untrue. I think it is that the adversity we faced was something we had to come together to overcome. We hear it frequently enough. Through hardship are fierce bounds found. I never was much fond of working alongside others. I have always preferred to do things on my own. I suppose I had not the experience of what it would be like to form camaraderies like that.

[ Trahearne nods. Through hardship are fierce bonds found. That might possibly be the truest thing he's heard all day. That line might stick with him for a while.

But he turns to look at her, study her as she speaks when she mentions not ever experiencing a bond like this. He sympathizes a little, but while he spent most of his life by himself, the unique circumstances of his people meant he did experience such a thing. ]

...My firstborn siblings and I shared something similar. There were only twelve of us in the beginning, and in those first two years, we were alone. We fought hard to establish ourselves as a respectable people in our world, and to ensure our survival. We experienced terrible loss when one of our brothers left us much too early, even before the second generation awoke. Since then, the firstborn have dwindled in number. There are only eight of them left now.

[ He pauses, his gaze more intense than he perhaps intends. He gets the sense that she would rather be alone, keep herself apart, stay with the status quo of her life that she is so comfortable maintaining. But he knows what it's like to have, and to lose such a bond. ]

I don't want to give you unsolicited advice, Beatrix. But I do encourage you to cherish what we have while we're all still here.

Edited (fixing wording dont mind me............) 2022-10-03 13:01 (UTC)

[It's the first time she's heard him talk about his people in such a way. She doesn't know very much about the Sylvari. Given that Gaia is full many beast-like people, Beatrix has never really given a lot of thought to it. Trahearne is simply Trahearne. That's all he needs to be.

How he speaks of his people, regardless, is intriguing. Firstborn siblings. Implying that there are evidently more. She's never really asked how his people grow, but given that he is so akin to a plant, she imagines the sowing of seeds. Or however plants spread their young. She's sure if she said any of that aloud, it might very well be received as a touch ill-informed and comedic.

His explanation, however, is a sad one. She can't help but wonder where this all comes from, but when he continues, she pauses. For all that she intends to address the plight of his fellow firstborn, his ending words grab her attention.]

...Does it seem that I am ungrateful for you and the others?

[...She could believe that, she supposes. It's not as though she's has oft voiced herself when it comes to those kinds of feelings. He would have every reason to think she was ungrateful.]

Not at all. I apologise if it came across that way. [ Trahearne's brows raise a bit--he didn't mean it like that. He doesn't mean to call her ungrateful at all. Beatrix would not have reached out if she were, would she? She clearly needed company, and she would have solved that problem elsewhere if she were.

He shakes his head. ]

But if you're anything like me, [ she does, in fact, strike him a bit like Phantom and Eustace, and the three of them are very similar ] then you may find you choose to remove yourself in certain circumstances instead of finding support. I admit...I am rather guilty of this myself, but I am trying. Perhaps my advice is not all that convincing, in that case.

[ He remembers the last day he saw Riannoc. Wynne. Riannoc, especially--the news of his death had been so devastating for a people so young and ready to embrace life. Though he lives on in their memory, he never got to live. He wonders what Caithe thought and felt as she watched the commander strike him down. He wonders if she saw Faolain, in the end. He hopes, sincerely, she's not had to watch any of the others fall since then. ]

But once that connection is gone...it never comes back.

[ He has heard tell of some people leaving and then reawakening in Songerein. But who's to tell that will always happen? Or that will apply to any of them in the future?

And to that end, ]

I am grateful you came to see me, Beatrix. As strange as it sounds, I'm glad we shared this experience.

[...

His observation, assessment, these things are astute. Like recognises like, she would think. She finds more comfort in the companionship of those who are like her, oft because they have no need to pry her for information. Eustace rarely asks questions regarding her feelings and she suspects it is largely because he already knows the answers. Saves her the trouble of tripping over herself to give an answer or dealing with the complexity of trying to find words for feelings she tends to squash down under heel.

But Trahearne is right. She is the sort to simply remove herself from a situation. She does not like support, would claim she does not want it, does not need it, can get by on her own just fine, when in truth, she has to acknowledge that some part of her has been incredibly lonely for over ten years and likely longer than that. She lives in a hell of her own making because she's never bothered to try breaking out of it. Misery may be a sad place to thrive in, if one wants to call it thriving at all, but if it's familiar, why explore something foreign.

"...once that connection is gone... it never comes back."

And he's right about that, too. So right, in fact, that she pauses for several long moments to consider what she might need to say to others. What she might need them to hear if she can grasp the courage to make such a thing happen. Just in case she should wake a day later and find them no longer in this world.

...Would she leave Dohalim with nothing? A hard frown crosses her features, but lasts only moments before she looks over to him.]

When you require assistance, you may always call on me, even if it does not seem I would offer such kindness. This is not charity. It is not pity or sympathy. For all that I may be ice and stone, I care about you, and the others, in my own way. I may not be able to voice it easily, but the things that are important to all of you, who you may wish to be, where you may wish to go, what you may wish to accomplish, these things are important to me in turn. I would desire the prosperity, the providence, and the joys that life has to offer for each of you.

[ In the long, quiet moments that follow, Trahearne finds his gaze wandering out the window on the opposite side of the room. There's a dull ache in his chest, and it's not from the wound. The sylvari, ever a believer in fate, thinks it's no coincidence that there are eight others who shared this experience, as there are eight firstborn remaining on Tyria. He prays they are there to support one another, to be the wise leaders they're meant to be. He prays that the other eight that were there in the cave will come to support one another in much the same way, and become bright spots in Reverein.

...But where does that leave him?

Alone again, he thinks.

When Beatrix speaks up, breaking him from his thoughts, he slowly turns to her, and surprise spreads across his countenance as she continues. To him, her moment of openness, her heartfelt extension of a hand comes so out of the blue that he's almost at a loss for words. He's always found her hard to read, and he suspects it's for the very reasons he mentioned not moments ago, so to hear this from her is...well. It's extremely touching. Almost beyond words.

He only studies her when she finishes, not quite sure what to say in turn. At last, an easy smile crosses his face, and he bows his head. ]

...Thank you, Beatrix. It truly heartens me to hear that. [ Has anyone ever said anything like that to him? That they want him to find his own joys in life, outside of his duties and his destiny? No one, not even his commander. He thinks, if he were the sort, he might burst into tears at the suggestion. But luckily, he isn't, and he remains composed. ] I could say the very same to you. Should you ever need me, if there is anything I can ever do for you in turn, never hesitate to call on me. I will be there.

[She's not said any of this to get something in return. Initial instinct tells her she said it to reassure him, but maybe she's reassuring herself as well. That she isn't as heartless as she seems to think she is or has been. That she isn't all ice and stone and unwelcoming things.

Maybe... a part of her is afraid of the people here viewing her in such a way. When she realises she doesn't have an explanation for that and considers further that she is probably not ready to start diving into any of it, it may be for the best to simply let it go. Not to overthink it the way she seems to overthink everything else.

Clearing her throat, she shakes her head.]

Yes, well. I appreciate it. But this is becoming awkward.

[So instead—

Beatrix lifts the last remaining pieces of fruit she's been holding onto.]

Show me where I can put these and then I am going to get out of your hair.

[...Not that she would say he really has hair. Whatever. She's already said it. She's already embarrassed herself plenty on this day. What's one more stupid thing coming out of her mouth.]

[ The sentimentality of the moment passes when Beatrix clears her throat, and in a way, Trahearne is a little thankful for that. If this had continued any longer, he might have found himself wondering if he is really able to handle the intense, personal kindness the others have been showing him. He's realized that having to step back and evaluate his life here versus the one he had in Tyria is an experience he finds to be...uncomfortable.

But that doesn't happen. He smiles as she motions to the fruit, and he grabs a large wooden bowl in which he placed a few apples earlier and scoots it towards her. ]

The fruit should last me a while. I think you made the right choice.

[ He wants to thank her again, but he's probably said that enough by now. He makes no mention or reaction to mention of hair; he takes the metaphor in stride. ]

I hope the rest of your recovery goes smoothly and quickly.

[She smiles. Light. Subdued. Nigh inconspicuous. There all the same.

Her posture stiffens, or perhaps it's never really loosened to begin with, and Beatrix dips her chin in a wordless acknowledgement, inwardly pleased he's found favour with what she's picked out for him. He wishes her well and she finds that she reflects the very same feelings toward him.

Beatrix falls into habits of old, bending at the waist in a polite bow before she raises again.]

Likewise, Trahearne. If you have need of anything, you know how to reach me. I can see myself out.

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DIS A WRAP WRAP, I THINK.