pactmarshal | songerein inbox

[ ...

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Fine. FINE. Trahearne rubs a hand over his face, slowly dragging it down as he speaks. Maybe his hand will muffle his answer. ]

I was in love with my second-in-command.

[ That sure is a thing to drop on Beat's lap!

Trahearne drops his hand, but doesn't look at the younger. He still looks away. His face is bright, bright gold. ]

And I...fancied Aerith. When she was here.

[...]

[.........]

[Processing...]

[Processing completed. Suddenly he's on his feet again!]

[Is this how it feels like to hit the jackpot?]

[Because Beat sure feels like he just hit the jackpot.]

Yo.

Yo.

All I was askin' was for a crush, man! But you was actually in love with someone? For real?

Yooo, you gotta tell me more 'bout 'em!

And Ribbons, too? Aight, yeah she cute, too. Totally get why you'd have a crush on her.

[Is he grinning too widely? Maybe. Heck, his cheeks might even be starting to hurt from how big his smile is right now.]

[ Oh no. This was a mistake. Beat's joy is almost overwhelming, and it only amplifies Trahearne's embarrassment. This is probably the first time since awakening here that he's admitted either of these things aloud outside of situations of emotional duress. ]

Yes. She was...lovely.

[ WELL. She's not here anymore.

Trahearne sighs and leans back in his chair. He's basically forgotten about the curry at this point. ]

My second-in-command, he... [ Where does he even start? He's concentrating really hard on keeping his expression neutral. And not smile. ] He was my best friend. And he changed my life.

[If that's how sylvari blush, Beat is enjoying seeing Traherne as flustered as this. If anything, it feels like this might be the first time he's ever seen the other man cut loose. Even when they were drinking before, he still seemed a little uptight then (and it wasn't because Beat was being a menace then, no sir.)

But he listens as Trahearne speaks, the grin slowly shrinking into a small smile.]

You know, Nightlight, I get that. [He really did, and he felt he could really empathize with Trahearne about it.] It's the same with me and my best friend back home. I'd be hella lost without him, you know?

[ As Beat calms, so does Trahearne. He slowly drags his gaze back to the other, and he feels a little less flustered now. If only because he gets to talk about his commander as his friend and not, well. ]

I understand perfectly. [ He lets the smile widen across his face. It's hard not to smile, thinking about him. ] Those who can lift us to greater heights, push us beyond what we originally believe were our limits...are precious.

Hell yeah. An' those that can be real with ya. Call you on your bullshit or when you screwin' up, yeah?

[Falling back onto his seat, Beat leans back, getting comfortable as they continued to talk. He'd been meaning to talk to Trahearne more, after all. And even though this wasn't where he thought their conversation would lead, it was a start.]

What's he like, yo?

[ Despite the growing smile on his face, Trahearne's trying really hard not to let it transform into a grin. He's already embarrassed himself enough today.

He nods in agreement at first, but then pauses. What is he like? ]

I am...hard pressed to think of anyone as brilliant as him. He shines in every endeavour he undertakes. [ His eyes drift up as he thinks. ] He is intelligent, witty, adept in combat, deeply caring... ...Handsome.

[ Not once in his entire time in Songerein has he commented on another's looks, so this is also new. Beat's getting so many new sides to Trahearne today. ]

[With the way Trahearne speaks about this guy, Beat finds it hard to sit still, wanting to egg his friend on. But he tries, really tries, not to do so now that he was opening up like this.]

Yo he really all that? 'Cause sounds like one helluva guy, yo.

[ And Trahearne is also really trying not to get carried away here. But regardless, there's still a brightness to his expression, the kind he only ever gets when he speaks of his commander. ]

He is. [ And he can't help but chuckle here, in lieu of a stupid grin. ] I don't know how he did it, but he always found the energy to laugh and press onward in situations where I would have folded to my hopelessness. Even now I look to him for inspiration. I always felt like I could do--be better...for him.

[ Beat has opened the floodgates, and now he rambles. ]

[As this conversation continues, Beat realizes that this might be the first time he has ever seen Trahearne this cheerful. And after everything he's been through, he can't help but want Trahearne to have some more of that happiness. To get a win of some kind.]

So that's your type, huh? Like some kinda leader?

[It's said in jest, and he flashes him a lopsided smile. After a moment, he looks a little pensive, but a ghost of a smile remains on his lips.]

I know we ain't that friend of yours, but you know we 'round, right? Wolfie, Kitty Boy, Loops, me. [You'd think he was talking about some kind of theater troupe instead of his nickname for their friends.] You know, to shoot the shit when ya feelin' down. Or help ya with gettin' better.

[ His type is--well. Trahearne doesn't know what his "type" is, but he knows the commander was, is, and always will be special. Beyond type, even.

As his thoughts consider "type," Beat pulls him back down with more realistic talk. Trahearne leaves the thoughts of his commander behind and instead fills them with Eustace, Phantom, Susato, Beat. ]

I know. [ He shifts in his seat again, feeling less awkward about having his heart exposed now, and gets comfortable. ] Perhaps I have been...ungrateful in the past, but know that your and the other's companionship means a great deal to me. [ He smiles. ] I owe you all a lot.

[Beat is quick to return the smile as well, big enough that it reaches his eyes. Despite what Trahearne says, he shakes his head.]

You don't owe us nothin', yo. I know you'd our backs too if it was anyone a' us.

[Leaning forward, he rests his elbows on his knees as his tone shifts. It's level, which might be a tad unusual for Beat, but his tone is genuine.]

You're a good guy, Nightlight. An' I ain't gonna be lettin' you forget that. Hell, I'll shout it offa rooftop if I gotta! [Does that sound like a joke? Hard to tell with him.]

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1/11, I think

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done, I'm not sorry

NEVER BE

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